Being in a relationship is magical. But getting to know someone better lies at the center of that connection, and getting to know everything about your potential partner can be tricky. It’s not like people come with a built-in biography you can reference to find out about them.
Instead, you need to ask this or that questions for couples. This is how you get to know someone. It not only can be fun, but it works. I’ll show you how.
What is the Point of This or That Questions for Couples?
A “this or that” question is one that helps people learn about each other, and themselves, by giving them a choice between two different and interesting options. By asking questions, couples can learn about each other.
This or that questions also help the partners in the relationship learn about each other’s values and reasoning. With a fun approach to these unique comparison-based questions, couples get a really deep look into each other’s minds.
Fun questions teach, reveal, and bring joy as you laugh and share answers. Serious and not-so-serious questions can help determine the future of your relationships.
My husband and I started playing the “this or that” game when we were still dating, and we still play it. It’s so much fun, but it’s also a way to share, connect, and learn about each other.
The benefits of “this or that” questions for couples include:
Are you ready for the ultimate “this or that” questions list? Grab your partner and start asking!
[See Deep Questions to Ask for Interesting Conversation]
151 Fun This or That Questions for Couples
Have fun, laugh, and don’t take your answers too seriously, but remember these answers reveal parts of yourself that you may not even know exist.
Follow up your “this or that” with an explanation to help your partner learn even more about you while you share and grow closer.
Food and Entertainment
1. Would you rather eat takeaways or prepare a home-cooked meal?
2. Would you rather dress up and go to a fancy restaurant, or dress down and go on a picnic under the stars?
3. Would you eat something off Fear Factor to win a million dollars, or would you rather rob a bank?
4. Would you rather eat the last chocolate on earth, or would you rather have the last glass of wine?
5. When stranded on a deserted island, would you rather eat only leaves and berries, or would you make a spear and catch and kill animals to eat?
6. Would you rather choose where you are going for a date, or do you leave it up to your partner to surprise you?
7. On a first date at a seafood restaurant, do you order lobster and crabs, eating with gusto, cracking crabs and other crustaceans, and making a glorious mess, or do you pretend not to know how to eat shellfish so you can seem polite?
8. Would you eat strange food that is still alive to satisfy an adventurous partner, or would you refuse and get Macdonald’s instead?
9. Would you rather go to the opera with your partner or go watch a movie at a nudist beach?
10. Would you rather pretend to like a sport, or do you tell your partner it’s not your favorite sport and decline their invitation?
11. Would you rather eat raw squid or swallow a live fish?
12. If your partner insists on eating only raw food, would you join them or rather eat at a separate table in a restaurant?
13. Would you watch a show you detest with your partner, or would you rather attend a funeral with your ex while dressed in drag?
14. Would you rather play naked twister with a new partner or watch a movie about the Kamasutra with a stranger?
15. Would you only eat one type of food for six months and win $1,000,000, or would you eat what you hate for two weeks, and win $10,000?
Dating
16. If you had to kiss on a first date, would you do it or pretend to be sick instead?
17. It’s your first kiss with your date, and they French kiss you. Would you kiss him/her back or end the kiss?
18. On a blind date, your date shows up dressed like a bum. Would you get up and leave the restaurant, or do you call for another bottle of wine and chat them up?
19. Would you pay for the meal if your partner showed up for the first date without their wallet, or do you only pay for half of the bill and leave?
20. Your date is running late. Do you call them to check if they are okay, do you chat up some other potential partners at the restaurant, or do you call it a night and go home?
21. Your date has a car accident on their way to the restaurant for your first date and they end up in hospital. Do you wish them a speedy recovery since you barely know them, or do you ask the restaurant to pack the meal to go and take the food to the hospital to share with your date?
22. You have a child from a previous relationship. Would you tell your new date about your child on your first date, or do you talk about everyday topics instead?
23. Would you rather wear a revealing dress on a first date, or choose a business look to impress your potential partner with?
24. Would you pay for a meal with a date who is clearly a cheapskate, or would you rather cause a scene and leave them with the bill?
25. Would you tell your current partner that you have found someone new if they are going to take you to the Bahamas, or do you keep quiet and tell them when you’re back?
26. Would you throw a fancy anniversary meal in the garbage and go out with friends if your partner works late, or do you wait until your partner comes home and have a midnight feast with them instead?
27. Would you do everything you can to win an argument, or do you choose to let your partner win?
28. Would you rather go on a date with a rich partner or hook up with someone who has less money than you?
29. Would you rather date a handsome/pretty partner, or rather hook up with someone you’ve never seen before but who clicks with you?
30. Would you let your new partner pick you up in their filthy car for a date, or would you ask them to rather drive with you in your car?
Transportation and Destinations
31. Would you rather go to the beach or the mountains on holiday?
32. Would you enjoy visiting Disney World more than going to a zoo?
33. At the amusement park, do you prefer to ride the tea-cup merry-go-round or hit the rollercoaster?
34. Which do you prefer: bus or subway?
35. Would you rather go on a submarine cruise or go skydiving?
36. Which would you rather drive: a state-of-the-art SUV or a classic convertible sports car?
37. Would you rather spend one night in a five-star hotel, or a week in a three-star hotel in a beautiful country?
38. Would you rather go on holiday with your potential in-laws for a week in Bali, or spend one day on the beach in Taiwan with your high school crush?
39. Would you rather walk along the beach or get driven in a rickshaw?
40. Would you rather go on a road trip with your besties or go with your new boyfriend?
41. Would you rather snorkel with sharks or go whale watching?
42. Would you rather hitch-hike or change your flat tire?
43. Would you rather drive two days to get to a concert by your favorite band or spend one whole day at the movies with your crush?
44. Would you rather win an all-expenses paid holiday to Dubai or a year’s worth of groceries?
45. Which would you choose: a weekend at home with nothing to do but chill, or a day at the park with your favorite people?
Socializing and Friends
46. Would you rather go to the bar with your friends for drinks or have a meal at a new restaurant?
47. Would you rather discuss your disagreement with a friend or have them apologize to keep the peace?
48. If your family doesn't approve of a new boyfriend, would you tell them off or dump the guy?
49. Would you prefer a great conversation with your worst enemy or an awkward conversation with a dear friend?
50. If your friend was in jail, would you use your last few dollars to bail them out, or would you let them spend the night behind bars?
51. What is more important to you, what people say or how they say it?
52. Which do you prefer, being sensitive to others’ needs and feelings or being brutally honest?
53. If your partner caught you on a lie, would you admit to the lie, or would you use another lie to cover the first lie?
54. Would you forgive a friend who wronged you but apologized to you, or would you rather use reverse psychology to make them feel guilty?
55. Would you rather spend a night playing board games with friends, or would you go to bed early instead?
56. If you get married, would you invite all of your friends, or would you only invite the close ones?
57. Would you want to know who all of your partner’s friends are (including his/her exes), or would you rather not know them at all?
58. Would you rather catch your partner cheating on you, or would you rather have their friends walk in on you while you’re in the shower?
59. Would you prefer having many friends who are constantly around you and your partner, or would you rather have no friends, and only have your partner?
60. Would you rather save money and never go out so you can pay for your wedding, or would you choose to ask friends for donations instead?
Pets and Animals
61. Would you rather have pets than children?
62. If you had to move to a different country but can’t take your pets with you, would you move or stay?
63. Would you choose to stay with your partner if they turned into a wolf at night, or would you rather leave to be with a normal person?
64. If your partner has a giant dog that sheds all over their apartment, would you insist on not spending the night there, or would you grab a comb for the pooch and get cozy?
65. Would you rather have a pet fish or a pet cat?
66. If your partner’s cat ate your pet fish, would you keep quiet and buy a new fish, or would you insist they get rid of the cat?
67. Would you prefer a bunny or a pet frog?
68. Would you rather pet a lion or an alligator?
69. Would you rather be with someone who loves animals or someone who doesn’t?
70. In a flood, would you save your dog or your neighbor?
71. If your house was on fire, would you run inside to save your cat or wait for the fire department to do it?
72. Would you talk to a magical fish or rather talk to a magical mushroom?
73. Would you rather ask that your pet dog can learn to talk or that your boss can learn to keep quiet?
74. Would you rather cremate your beloved pet or choose to have it buried?
75. Would you rather walk into your home to find an anaconda in the living room, or find a grizzly bear in the kitchen?
Work and Money
76. Would you rather work less and earn the same, or work more and earn a bit more?
77. Would you rather be rich and unhappy, or poor and happy?
78. Would you rather be employed and unhappy at a terrible job or unemployed and happy?
79. Would you prefer to talk your way into any job, but then lose it, or struggle to find work, but then keep it?
80. If you won the lottery, would you keep on working or resign and do no work?
81. Would you rather date someone who has more money than you or someone who has less?
82. Would you rather pay cash or swipe a card?
83. Would you rather lose your income, or lose your life insurance?
84. Would you prefer to invest money or spend it all?
85. Would you choose a friend over your work time?
Strangest Questions to Share
86. Would you rather ride an ostrich or a horse while in the nude?
87. Would you prefer your ex walking in on you while having sex or your new partner’s flat mate?
88. Would you prefer being beautiful or intelligent?
89. Would you rather get proposed to in a shopping mall or on a mountain top?
90. Would you prefer to live in your hometown or in the city?
91. Would you rather lose an eye or lose a finger?
92. Would you rather run someone over or drive into a ditch and total your car?
93. Would you rather watch a horror movie or watch Faust at the opera house?
94. Would you rather be on a falling plane or on a runaway train?
95. Would you prefer plastic surgery or a breast augmentation?
96. If your partner is a criminal, would you turn them in or join their gang?
Relationship Challenges
97. Would you prefer to go through your partner’s phone or their email?
98. In the apocalypse, would you prefer a zombie partner or a corpse bride (or groom)?
99. Would you pull the plug if your partner’s on life support or rather have them live but suffer?
100. Getting married late, would you prefer no kids or a baby at 55?
101. Would you rather have your soulmate for a year and then grieve their death, or never know them and live in peace?
Spirituality/Mental Health
102. Would you rather see the future or change the past?
103. Would losing your ability to think or losing your physical ability be worse?
104. Would you rather your partner live in constant pain or would you rather they were humanely euthanized?
105. Would you rather have more confidence or more patience?
106. Are you more prone to believe in fate or to believe in coincidence?
107. Would you rather always be angry or always be sad?
108. At the end of your life, would you rather find out there is an afterlife or that this is all there is?
109. Would you prefer knowing how you will die or when you will die?
110. Would you prefer finding out there is no higher power or that there are multiple ones?
111. Would you rather take a permanent vow of silence or be endlessly questioned?
112. Would you prefer never sleeping or never eating?
113. Do you like attending an organized religious service or prefer worshiping alone in nature?
114. Would it be easier for you to never have a good memory or never forget the bad memories?
115. Would you rather never experience peace or never experience love?
116. Do you prefer always making the decisions or never having a say in the decision?
117. Would you prefer to live a short life of perfect health or a long one with chronic pain?
118. Would you prefer others see you as fair or compassionate?
Family
119. Would you like to remain childless or have a houseful of kids?
120. Would you rather spend a week with your own family or a week with your partner's family?
121. Do you consider family outings or date nights more appealing?
122. Would you rather spend holidays at home or attend a large family gathering?
123. Do you prefer planned vacations or spontaneous day trips?
124. Would you rather teach your kids practical skills or fun skills?
125. Would you rather teach your kids art classes or coach their sports teams?
126. Would you rather be the stay-at-home partner or the one that works ten-hour days?
127. Would you prefer your elderly parent move in with you or go to a nursing home?
128. Which is better, eloping or having a big wedding?
129. Would you rather embarrass yourself in front of your partner's parents or coworkers?
130. Would it be better to be trapped with your spouse in a haunted house or an abandoned mine?
131. Would you prefer having kids that obeyed you immediately or ones that question every instruction?
132. Is the silent treatment preferable to screaming at each other?
133. Would you rather have a partner who stayed up all night or one that went to bed at 8 PM every night?
134. Do you prefer long walks or long car rides?
135. Is it better to have a partner who needs plenty of personal space or one that is super clingy?
Self-Care and Personal Habits
136. Would you like to be lost in the wilderness of Alaska or a deserted tropical island?
137. Would you rather have a short life full of risk and adventure or a long, safe life of security?
138. Which is preferable, listening to constant music in your least-liked genre or having endless hours of silence?
139. If you could choose one, would you rather hire a housekeeper, a personal chef, or a nanny?
140. Would you feel better making a lot of money or making a big difference in the world?
141. Would you rather going naked permanently or cross-dressing permanently?
142. Do you prefer swimming in a pool or the ocean?
143. Would it be better to have constant light or constant darkness?
144. Would you rather live in a tiny home with a partner or alone in a mansion?
145. Would you like to be considered smart or considered powerful?
146. Do you prefer sleeping on your back, your belly, or your side?
147. Would you prefer always eating at a table or risking crumbs in your bed?
148. Which is preferable, going without washing your hair for a month or without brushing your teeth for a month?
149. Which is worse, a broken furnace or a broken air conditioner?
150. Which is better, a hot bubble bath or a cold shower?
151. Do you want your home to be a spotless showcase or have a comfortable, lived-in look?
Final Thoughts on This or That Questions for Couples
This or that questions are a fun way to connect, exchange ideas, and share laughs. If you don’t take them too seriously, you can learn a lot about your partner and about yourself.
We are all constantly growing, evolving… and asking questions is how we develop more into who we are. Self-awareness can be a powerful thing. The knowledge we gain can help us to learn to be proud of who we are.
And if you want more interesting questions to ask, be sure to check out these blog posts:
- 103 This or That Questions to Ask a Girl to Know Her Better
- 129 Existential Questions for a Fun Philosophical Conversation
- 111 Self-Discovery Questions to Ask Yourself While Journaling
