Society likes to place all of us in boxes, and not all boxes are seen as acceptable, making you doubt your self-worth, your identity, and so much more when you don’t belong in the socially acceptable boxes.
Remaining single is one of these boxes… and if you aren’t in a relationship (at this moment or ever planning to be), you are the exception to the rule.
If you are single (or rather self-partnered, the term I prefer), you know all about this. People think they are entitled to ask you about your relationship status and all the juicy details AND judge you for not conforming to what they consider as normal or right.
This is what happens whether you’ve dated and decided no more, always wanted to be single and live life on your terms, divorced, or widowed.
Choosing to stay single is seen as unnatural by society. Screw society and what others think.
All that matters is that you are happy with your life – whether you choose to remain single (now or forever).
Here are the best reasons why you should remain self-partnered (and live your life on your terms).
Stigmas Associated With Remaining Single
Remaining single has been stigmatized since the dawn of time. It’s been your duty to procreate and add to the population and be part of a unit (aka in a relationship) for what feels like forever.
And while we live in modern times, being single is still frowned upon and heavily judged – especially if you are over a “certain age.” It has become more acceptable to be self-partnered, but depending on your culture, community, and society at large, you could still be judged and found guilty.
After all, society wants you to buy into all the romance stuff because that’s how they make money.
So what exactly are the stigmas associated with remaining single?
For one, if a lady (typically at the age of 23 to 26 and beyond) chose not to be in a romantic relationship or marry, she was called derogatory words like “spinster” or “old maid.”
This wasn’t the case in the 15th century only; until 2005, “spinster” and “bachelor” were the official terms for unmarried folk.
Other offensive terms to describe those of us who choose not to partner romantically include “prude, fuddy-duddy, single parasite, and leftovers.”
Being married continues to be a symbol of prestige, success, and status, so remaining single would be the opposite of those. Society also continues to promote the idea that marriage equals happiness and personal fulfillment.
Just think of all the “a romantic partner completes you” lines in the media, meaning that those flying solo are broken, unsociable, selfish, unattractive, incomplete, immature, and will never be whole.
It’s also not uncommon for friends, family, and even strangers to wonder and judge you based on your perceived sexuality, especially if they are traditionally minded.
Those “if you aren’t in a relationship, you must be gay or super strange or there’s definitely something wrong with you” comments and gazes continue to force single people into boxes (that they don’t fit into).
9 Reasons Why You Can & Should Remain Single
Being single is a choice, and there are reasons why you may decide that this is the right choice for you.
Here are some reasons that may help you decide whether to stay single or if you really want to be in a relationship with someone.
1. You Want to Focus on Your Personal Development
Single people often choose singlehood since it helps them develop their self-concept and pursue their own happiness by looking inward.
A single person relies on themself to be happy, unlike couples who build happiness together (often in toxicity because they seek happiness outside themselves or believe that their partner should make them happy).
Far from being selfish, choosing to focus on your personal development is about a more advanced way of being, like the stoics who chose to be single so they could spend more time working on their own mental, spiritual, and philosophical growth.
How to Focus on Your Personal Development:
Being single gives you the time to do what most couples lack time for – read, think, write, and plan.
If you are considering the single journey so you can develop yourself and grow as a person (to be who you are meant to be), start by reading the works of great thinkers such as the stoics, and thereby discover your own path to self-fulfillment.
2. You Want to Have Time for Your Health
Those who are single tend to have more time to invest in their health, according to a study. They are able to go to the gym, take up meditation, train for marathons, and practice physical hobbies like hiking or mountain climbing.
If you like to work on your health, being single is perhaps a requirement. Couples tend to be so enmeshed in each other's lives that they don’t take care of their own health anymore.
How to Create Time for Health:
Having time to do the physical activities you love is important for a healthy lifestyle, and those in relationships tend to focus on other matters than how to stay healthy.
Create a routine where you can regularly work out and even just move more in general. Work out before breakfast and work, go for a lunch break walk, take the stairs, and stretch before bed.
3. Friendships Matter to You
Those who are in relationships often lose their friendships and connection to those dear to them. If you are single, you are better able to offer great friendship to someone who is your friend.
Being single means you value friendship more than romance (and there’s nothing wrong with that). After all, when a relationship fails, your romantic partner becomes your ex, and it’s your friends who are there for you.
If a relationship fails, you are often left feeling lonely and empty. But if you’ve built strong relationships with friends, you aren’t alone when your romantic partners leave.
Singlehood often happens because not all romantic partners understand why their partners need their supportive friends.
How to Foster Your Friendships:
Friendships have more lasting value than a quick romance or a troubled relationship. Create strong bonds with friends by spending time, engaging in valuable connections, and sharing memories to secure the friendship bonds.
If a romantic partner tries to end your friendships, take notice, and watch for signs that they are seeking to isolate you. Foster diverse friendships, as you never know who you will need and who’ll be there for you.
4. You’d Rather Not Get Hurt Again
Many singles choose to stay single because they’d been in a traumatic or toxic relationship, which damaged their belief in “the fairytale ending.” It’s as if they woke up from the romance dream, and now, they want to be alone instead of falling again.
Divorced people, those who were widowed, and people who recently got dumped by a partner can all decide they’d rather stay single than get hurt like that again.
How to Avoid Getting Hurt:
Hiding in singlehood isn’t the way to be happy with your life. Chances are you will be as miserable as when the person you were in a relationship with left you. Instead, focus on meeting your needs for acceptance and recover your self-worth.
Activities like art, yoga, meditation, extreme sports, and writing can all help you rebuild your selfhood and learn to truly enjoy being single.
5. You’re Very Independent
Most of those who choose singlehood are independent. They prefer to be alone, stand on their own two feet, achieve through struggle, and build their own journey.
If you are independent to the point of getting annoyed when someone tries to help you, it could be a sign you were meant to be independent.
How to Become Well-Adjusted to Situations:
True singles are proud of what they accomplish alone, while those in relationships feel resentment that they have to do things alone when their partner isn’t supportive enough.
Focus on times you’ve stood alone and won. Adjustments can be made by you, and you alone. Own your truth, and accept that you are capable and don’t need others.
6. Free Your Mind
Many couples are so busy living in each other's lives they lose contact with themselves, and their mind dulls as a result.
Singles are free-thinkers, and they are sensitive to preconceived ideas (such as that singles need partners to complete them).
Only once you’ve set aside preconceived ideas will you begin to free your mind and live the life you desire.
Having a partner when you want to free your limited thinking can be a challenge.
How to Unclutter Your Mind:
Practice mindfulness by meditating, writing, reading, and breathing. Look for stress-reducing breathing exercises such as box breathing. Intentionally seek isolation to calm your mind and let thought back inside.
7. Ready for Challenges
Since you’re living alone, you likely have had your share of singlehood challenges to face.
Being single is about overcoming and being ready for what life throws your way, but how do you do it, and why is it important for singles to be self-reliant?
Preparations can only get you so far, but by being proactive and intentionally seeking out challenges, you can thrive.
How to Become Open to Life:
Your philosophy about life will determine your readiness to stand firm and embrace challenges as opportunities. Start your day with affirmations, and end it with gratitude.
8. Know Thyself
The stoic maxim of “know thyself” applies to this reason for singlehood. When you know yourself and become your own supporter as well as your personal humility reminder, you get to experience the primary relationship with yourself in much greater depth.
When you know who you are, what you want, like, desire, need, and a million more aspects of yourself, you no longer need others to fulfill your needs.
In fact, others may get in the way, imposing their own beliefs on you. Being single creates the chance of success.
How to Know Yourself Better:
Singlehood is a time for rebirth and reflection. When you let yourself choose to weigh up your life, you may find you have so many things you still want to do, and this is why being single gives you the chance to achieve these desires.
Jennifer Taitz, renowned author of How to Be Single and Happy, believes this is a time to develop your life’s “mission statement.”
9. You Choose Peace Over Drama
When you associate with people and relationship partners, you choose to be in relationships, which often culminate in drama and chaos.
But when you choose to live a life of singlehood, you are saying you prefer your own company and peace over being with others and having to deal with their drama.
Being single means you live on your terms. You choose not to tie yourself to people who you have conflict with, choosing to live peacefully by yourself instead.
How to Live a Fulfilling and Peaceful Life:
Focus on being peaceful and avoiding drama. It’s a conscious decision to avoid chaos and negativity, but remember that living alone does not mean you are lonely.
Choose peace, let go of drama, and focus on building your own selfhood within your barriers or boundaries. This is the start of a better and more meaningful relationship with yourself, instead of rushing into relationships with others.
Final Thoughts on Why You Should Remain Single
It can be darn challenging to remain single, and giving in to peer pressure (or societal pressure) and being in a romantic relationship may be the path of least resistance.
But you know what is, has been, and will be the right journey to follow (for you) – to be single or to be partnered.
In all honesty, you can (and should) remain self-partnered (or even choose flying solo) if you want to have time for yourself and your personal self-development, work on your physical health, tend to your friendships, and live the life you crave – without being attached and asking for permission.
Here’s a guide on how you can be happy by yourself and single, and if you are looking for ways to fill your time, consider picking up one of these solo hobbies.
And if you're looking for more articles about self-love and personal development, be sure to check out these blog posts:
- 35 Bible Verses About the Importance of Self-Love
- 75 Self-Love Affirmations to Find More Acceptance in Life
- 8 Best Self-Love Exercises to Elevate Your Mood
