Nobody alive truly knows what’s next when a person dies. My parents believe in heaven and hell, so they believe their spirit will hopefully join their loved ones in heaven. My colleague believes there is no life after death, and I believe in reincarnation.
Even though all of us have certain beliefs about death and life, and it brings us some measure of comfort, the truth is that death is scary. You don’t know when your last day will be, how you will die, or what’ll happen next. So it’s only natural to worry about death – whether that concern and fear is about you, your loved ones, or just in general.
So how to stop worrying about death and live your life to the fullest?
I’ve got all the information about death anxiety you need, tips for how to appreciate each moment and live your life, and advice on when you should seek help.
Why Do Some People Fear Death?
It’s natural to be scared of death and dying – and it’s a normal worry to have, up to a point. But what exactly causes you to fear and worry about death?
Here are the various reasons why some people could be scared of death and dying:
When it becomes an intense and irrational fear, it’s a phobia. A phobia about death is called thanatophobia, and phobias negatively affect our quality of life. A fear of death can also become an anxiety, which has a negative impact on your day to day living.
11 Ways to Stop Worrying About Death
Dealing with any kind of worries and anxieties are complicated, and there’s no one-size-fits-all solution.
Your mortality isn’t an easy topic to worry about or shake off, but learning healthy coping techniques can help you control these feelings, emotions, and thoughts so you don’t spiral out of control.
Here are the 11 best ways on how to stop worrying about death:
1. Practice Acknowledgment and Acceptance
Whenever you have a fear or anxiety about something, one of the first steps is acknowledging that you have a fear. You may think “duh,” but many of us (possibly you included) think that we’re better off when we pretend the problem doesn’t exist and that it’ll magically go away.
It won’t, and it might even get worse and out of control before you know it or when you least expect it.
So acknowledge that you have a fear of death and then accept it. Accept that death is a natural part of life; nobody lives forever. With these steps, you may even realize how much you should appreciate being alive and focus on living mindfully in this moment.
To accept death, you need to live with the anxiety that comes when the topic of death features in your thoughts or conversation. Consider a mantra to help you cultivate an acceptance of death. Examples of mantras you could use are:
2. Get Moving and Healthy
Studies have found that exercising regularly can help you manage your anxiety. And it’s no secret that exercise makes you healthier, which increases your life expectancy (aka you can live longer).
Other healthy practices like eating healthy foods and getting enough Zzzs also have positive effects on your mind, mood, and body. When you feel well, your worries about death (and everything else) seem a lot smaller and easier to tackle compared to when you are feeling run down.
Eating too much sugar and refined carbs and drinking too much caffeine and alcohol has been shown to have a negative impact on how anxious you feel. These kinds of foods can even trigger anxious feelings, which won’t help you to stop worrying about death and living life to the fullest.
So once you get moving and incorporate healthier lifestyle choices, you’ll feel better and won’t be so worried about death.
3. Identify Your Triggers
Knowledge is power, so it’s essential to identify what is triggering you to be scared of death and your mortality. When you know, you can work on overcoming your fears and letting go of your worries.
If you know that a movie or TV show with someone dying triggers you to overthink about death, then you know what to avoid. Or you can expose yourself to your trigger in a safe and controlled environment with a loved one until you can face your fear without feeling scared.
Or you can learn coping techniques to temper your anxieties about death, and this will empower you.
4. Meditate
Meditation is a practice many people turn to when they are afraid of death. Meditation and breathing techniques can help quieten those intrusive thoughts about mortality and bring you peace.
One technique you can try is imaginal flooding. A study conducted in 1974 found that the patients experienced decreased anxiety when exposed to imaginal flooding.
Note: If you’ve been diagnosed with a mental illness, don’t try this without the guidance of a mental health professional.
If you are ready to try imaginal flooding, ensure you have five minutes of uninterrupted time. Sit or lie down comfortably, and take a few deep breaths. When you feel relaxed, imagine the least scary thoughts you have about death.
Keep these thoughts as vivid as possible and be mindful of how you feel. Continue to breathe slowly and deeply.
Repeat this exercise for a few days until you become familiar with your worries and thoughts about death, and then gradually scale your thoughts to think about the more scary stuff concerning death.
Remember to breathe as you learn to accept your thoughts and remember they are just thoughts and not facts.
5. Focus on What You Can Control
Worrying about death won’t solve or improve anything, so it’s best to start focusing on what you can control. You can control your life outlook, your choices, your attitude, and your actions and behaviors.
So focus on your health – make healthy choices so you can live longer naturally. Listen to your body. Get enough sleep. And learn more about the triggers to your death worries and anxieties and seek professional help if you need to.
6. Create a New Routine or Habit
Worrying about death (and other stuff in life) is a bad habit, so one way to stop or learn to cope with your anxieties is to create a new, healthy habit or routine. After all, worries can be overwhelming and interfere with your life.
Just remember that you don’t want the new habit to be a means of avoiding your fears and worries, and by extension, teach your brain that anxieties are bad and something to be scared of. You want to learn acceptance and find ways to live a happy and healthy life.
So consider including some of the following in your daily life:
7. Set a Worry Period
You can set a worry period each day or week when you can focus on your anxiety about death, and when the time for worrying is up, that’s it and you move on.
So decide on a time that you can set aside to worry and for how long. As a general rule, it shouldn’t be longer than 10 minutes. Maybe it’s for 7 minutes after lunch on a Saturday. Set your timer and remember that this worry time is guilt-free. There’s no room to feel bad about what you are anxious about during that time.
Sit with your thoughts and let them come. You can make notes or journal about your death worries during this worry period, or you can just be mindful about what you think and feel.
When the timer goes off, it’s time to get back to living your life. Go for coffee with a friend. Answer those emails. Or do the dishes.
8. Make the Most of Every Single Day
Making the most of every single day probably sounds like such a cliché when it comes to advice on how to stop worrying about death. But it does help.
Live everyday like it’s your last. Make the most of every moment. Do what you can today and don’t think you have tomorrow because tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. You only have now.
Once you are mindful to live every day to its fullest capacity, you start surrendering to life as it actually is. You make better choices, you live with more integrity, and you’ll feel freer and happier.
So since you accept that you’re going to die at some point and you are accepting that each day may be your last, you won’t fear death so much. After all, everything in life is temporary, so impact your own life in positive ways and this will extend outward to others.
9. Create a Memento Mori Practice
To help you stop worrying about death, you can create a memento mori practice. This is an ancient practice that originally goes back to Socrates. When you practice memento mori, you remind yourself that you’ll die one day and you think about the fragility of life.
You’ll need to find something that reminds you of mortality. It can be a skull, an extinguished candle, a poem about death, a clock, an hourglass, pressed flowers, or a painting or picture that embodies death.
You may think that being constantly reminded about death isn’t going to help you with your worries and anxieties and may actually make them worse, but you’d be wrong.
Instead, you are confronting something you find scary, and this will feel uncomfortable at first. But eventually, you’ll enjoy long-term peace of mind as you become more confident that you can face thoughts and worries about death.
10. Practice Gratitude
There are a multitude of benefits in practicing gratitude. When you are grateful, you are appreciative and focus on the positive in your life, which helps replace fearfulness and the subsequent feelings of anxiety. A gratitude attitude helps cultivate a sense of purpose, and it reduces stress too.
So to practice gratitude as a way to stop worrying about mortality and death, try these exercises:
11. Create a Legacy
Many people focus their life on creating a personal legacy – a lasting impact on the lives of others so they’ll always remember you, thus “immortifying” you. There are various ways you can create a personal legacy:
What to Do When a Fear of Death Becomes Debilitating
Any fear can easily get way out of control if we aren’t careful, aren’t aware of our worries, and don’t mind our thoughts. When your fear of death becomes debilitating and affects your day to day life, it can increase your chances of suffering from depression.
You may also find yourself avoiding anything you believe can cause your demise, and you may have panic attacks when your fear of death is triggered.
If none of the activities on my list has made any positive impact on your worries, it’s recommended to seek out a healthcare or mental health professional like a psychologist or psychiatrist to help you deal with your death phobia and anxieties.
Treatment for thanatophobia may include:
Final Thoughts on How to Stop Worrying About Death
We all know we’re going to die, but facing that truth isn’t easy. In fact, just thinking about death is quite an anxiety ride. But there’s a point where your worries and anxieties about death become too overwhelming and scary, and that’s when you need to focus on how to stop worrying about death.
You first need to acknowledge your worries, find your triggers, and then work on healthy coping techniques… like implementing constructive habits and routines in your life. You can also try meditation, setting a guilt-free “worry about death” period, practicing gratitude, leaving a personal legacy, getting a memento mori, and making the most of each day.
Ready to face your fears about death while watching some movies? Then check out our guide on the 21 best movies about dealing with grief and loss.
